Sex In Your 40’s & 50’s…Hot Stuff!

I know what you are thinking – sex?  Shhhh!  It’s one of the big 3 things not to talk about, right up there with religion and politics.  But there are some great things to be said about sex in your 40’s and 50’s.

There are typically 2 situations you’ll find yourself in as you enter the bedroom years of your 40’s and 50’s:

Both situations require some thought when it comes to affairs of the heart – and body.

Situation 1: Still looking for love

If you are dating, there is a slightly different feel to that world when you are in your 40’s and 50’s.

If you were married or otherwise in a committed relationship for a while, you are new to the “dating” thing again.  If you have been a long-time single person, you have probably evolved in your dating style and approach to sex.

Considerations especially important to you:

  • Safe sex.  Age does not make you any less vulnerable to diseases, or even to pregnancy.  Many woman can still have children well into their 40’s, and men typically stay fertile to almost twice that age.
  • Slow down.  There isn’t any rush to the bedroom – take your time before settling on intimacy.  And be sure both of you are ready, which of course applies to any age!

Situation 2: Long-term relationship/marriage

Congratulations!  It must mean you have found someone special if you are still together.  But just because you have made your relationship work for a long time doesn’t mean your sex life works now… maybe it never really did but the flush of youth made up for it.

In either situation, you have more maturity, are more established in your life, and probably know more about what makes you happy in love and in sex.  Use all of those things to your advantage as you approach sex, and possibly enjoy it more than you ever have before.

Tips for a Great Sex Life in your 40’s & 50’s:

  • Honesty.  The most satisfying sexual relationships come from honesty and trust with your partner.  You need to feel comfortable telling your partner what makes you feel good, what touches you like best, favorite positions.  If you “suffer in silence” you are cheating both of you out of a deeper, more intimate and satisfying experience.
  • Open to new ideas.  This is especially true of long-term couples, who may get very set in patterns.  Sometimes you can shake things up if you are willing to try something new.
  • Rekindle the fire.  If you have been with someone for a long time, you can recreate the thrill of discovery together.  Your lives have changed and evolved, and maybe you have new fantasies now that you did not have 10-20 years ago.  Live them out together!  Even leaving love notes, or checking into a hotel for the weekend can give you a lust-boost and deepen your physical relationship no matter how many years you have been together.
  • Feel sexy.  They say your brain is the biggest sexual organ there is!  Feeling sexy can lead to more great sex with your special someone.  As you enter your 40’s and 50’s, you may have a different body image and reality than you did in your 20’s.  And that’s great!  You are still vibrant and sexy, so showcase it well.

Women can find lingerie that is sexy and flattering, men can get a new haircut and spring for a professional shave.  Waxing away unwanted hair for both men and women can lead to feeling smooth and sexier.  Eating a healthy diet and getting exercise can help you feel sexy mentally and look your best physically.  Use mood lighting in the bedroom, or light some candles.

Bring romance and sexy together for a great night of love, regardless if it’s your first time with someone or your thousandth time together!

  • Special situations.  Your body and hormones are changing as you enter your 40’s and 50’s and with those changes often come changes to your sexual health.

For women, it can mean menopause symptoms that can be bothersome and sap your sexual urges.

For men, it can mean erectile problems.

For both, there is medical help, so seek it!  Don’t let easily rectified situations get in the way of great sex.  And sometimes it might mean something as simple as a lubricant for vaginal dryness or a little extra foreplay to kindle the right mood.

Age is just a number.  Be the vibrant sexual being you are inside, regardless of what the calendar says!